|
This week's Answer:
The
"Hole" Picture Sarah,
I truly appreciate your question and insight. I
believe, to one degree or another, we all go through what
you described as the "hole" when we don't feel
acknowledged or responded to. And, yes, I've been
through the "hole experience" (it's never half,
always whole) many a time, and here's something that might
help: It doesn't get any easier. I mean the
hole doesn't get any easier. What gets easier,
though -- and this is the hopeful part -- is how you
handle the hole. (This sounds a bit odd, truly, but
let us proceed with this metaphor until it gets too
uncomfortable -- as holes are want to become when you've
been in them too long.) What I've learned is
that this hole must be acknowledged. If someone
doesn't acknowledge you and then you don't acknowledge the
hole that's caused by his or her lack of acknowledgement,
then you are continuing the "lack of
acknowledging" continuum (LOAC), which I've heard can
be deadly to our planet as we know it. And to you as
a member of this planet and human race. So, the
first step is to acknowledge that discomfort, acknowledge
the hole. But -- and this is where it gets tricky --
don't
fall into it!
The hole, that is.
That's all you need to do. That doesn't mean be in
denial about the hole. You're going to feel yourself
falling in just like Alice when she went after the white
rabbit. Just be aware of when you are making that
rather speedy descent and, as soon as you do, as soon as
you are aware of yourself falling, the miraculous thing
that happens is that you'll find yourself no longer
falling. Try it. The pain will no longer be
there. And do you know why? Why? I'm
glad you asked. Because the hole is caused by your
thoughts. Thoughts such as these: "Why
didn't they get back to me? It's such a good
script. Why can't they just see that and buy
it? They're a bunch of *&#$#@! Can't even
take five seconds to send me back an e-mail. Those
*&%@#@*! I hope they all wind up in Producer
Hell! When is someone going to finally see my genius
and pay me for it!? I deserve at least six figures on this
script. I'm so good. Why can't somebody see it
for once!?" And on and on. These kinds of
thoughts regenerate, re-stimulate the hole. It's as
if they are what push the button that activates the
opening of the hole. But, as soon as you notice
these thoughts, simply look at them. Don't try to
repress them or pretend they're not there. Just look
at them. And feel that hole that seems to be
in you. See it all from a distance. As though
the difficult thoughts and the hole are outside of you,
not a part of you, not you. Because that is the
truth: they're not really you. Without effort,
you'll find yourself finding it hard to find that
hole. Why? I'm glad you asked.
Because
it was never there to begin with.
(I hope I picked enough
of an esoteric and mysterious font to give you the
impression that I have tapped into some ancient
wisdom.)
So, Sarah (yes, sew and
sow and whatever else you may do), face that hole.
It has absolutely no power over you. Now you can
write and submit more freely, knowing that hole is only a
hoax.
I hope this has helped
you and other readers. And, everybody, if you've
gained from my experience and wisdom, please send me an
e-mail acknowledging that very truth.
Or, I swear, I'm going
to drop through my hole and never come out again.
DcH
|
